return to self : the journey home

its been a long while since i’ve been on my own. fifteen years to be exact. i didn’t realize that until her departure. what i have learned is that sometimes blessings come into our lives in forms unexpected. Ember showed and taught me pure Love. she was the embodiment of the divine feminine. a sister of the rose, part of my soul, and in this life a pug. she chose me as her guide, yet in truth she was mine. though the journey here on Earth together may have ended, another aspect seems to be revealing itself.

along the rivers edge, where our spiritual journey began, is where i am learning to find my self once again. although she is not here physically, i feel her in every moment. she is with me, and will always be. this i know and understand yet it is still a rather difficult adjustment. i have gone deep within and i am learning how to live without her here with me. it is not easy, for it is like living without the sun. truly.

she taught me many things. she taught me how to care for another; how to be a mother, a wife, a friend, and a daughter. we spoke our own language and have a bond that goes back many lifetimes. she is both my greatest teacher, and my life’s greatest loss. every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow. the path i am on is one that has taken me on quite the journey. however, i am thankful to be where i am now : with new eyes, an open heart, and Ember helping to guide my way Home to Self in spirit form.

in the next phase of this journey i am being called to move deeper into the healing process by way of working with Chiron in my natal astrology chart. the course i am taking ‘Chiron – Your Deepest Wound, Your Greatest Gift’ has really showed up at the most perfect time. i will be exploring the three Chiron archetypes, how they relate to me, and how to use them to turn my wound into my greatest gift. i am planning to share with you my experience, maybe you will find within something that resonates with your own journey of self. as my wise Rose Alchemy teacher says, “we are all guiding each other home.”

namaste.

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path of light

medicine path : coming into my own

spiritual plant path  

2013 . this was the year my spiritual journey with the plants first began taking shape through working with Shamana Flora. it is also the year i was called to only utilize alcohol medicinally.

a shift within

2014 . as my shamanic herbal apprenticeship began, i simultaneously experienced the death of a close friend and then relative. this shifted my awareness, and the plants began speaking to me, or was it that i had just began to hear them? actually, it was a death i experienced 9 years earlier that put me fully onto my spiritual path. my life forever changed.

eyes to see, ears to hear 

2015 . heart rhythm meditation came into my life, and my focus was caring for the plants on the land here. learning more about them and the wild ones. i was called to discontinue my use of commercially produced tobacco, and in that same year, mullein showed up all along the pathway leading to my front door –  it is a medicine for the lungs. there is an old folk medicine saying, “the medicine you need grows near you.” well, i believe that saying holds truth. my dear soul dog lost her vision, and i almost lost her too. thankfully, i had the plants on hand, and the guidance of a beloved soul sister to help see her through. Ember gave me eyes to see, and ears to hear. my relationship with the plants was evolving.

the wise woman way

2016 . i spent much of the year helping others, and neglected to do so for myself. i ignored the signs i was given, and eventually it caught up with me. (apparently, i am human after all.) there was a need for nourishment and strengthening. finding balance. i returned to my self care practices and incorporated new ones. i found the Wise Woman Way. through this healing journey, my relationship with the plants deepened, and i returned to nature. this was my lesson, to heal my self with the medicine of the earth.

journey home

2017 . a year of deep soul healing through working with Rose Alchemy to heal ancestral patterns and core wounds on a path to self mastery. all the while there was another aspect to this journey – searching for a new home. after the go around we had, it seems as though where we are is exactly where we need to be for the time being. the path of healing lead me home to self. heart is where the home is. i also began my studies with the School of Evolutionary Herbalism. i resonate so deeply with the teachings, and their bridging of knowledge in a language my heart understands.

seeing the pattern .  healing the heart . mother earth

Present . two months ago i lost my soul dog. i realize now that through each experience of loss, a part of my self experienced a sense of death as well. pieces of my soul had to experience death in order to be reborn on the plant path. the path of light. this is what my soul needed to experience in order for me to arrive here in this moment. to go deep within and heal my heart. to rise from the ashes and do my part. working with plant medicine and mother earth.

blessings be. 

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{Ember + Mullein}

healing way

 herbs & nutrition, spiritual connection 

i have become familiar in ways of working with plant medicine preventatively and in healing from exposure to environmental toxins – creating plant essences, natural remedies, and herbal medicine. i also work with food as medicine to heal and support the body system. although, there is another aspect of working with the earth in healing spiritually and emotionally – this is where my relationship came to be prior to working with her physically. water is one of my first memories of a connection to nature, from there i followed a path of working with mother earth.

self taught. hands + heart 

mostly i have learned through experience, and self study from those who are in the healing community, including the plants. i learn by working with my hands, and my heart. i learn through experience, inner knowledge and intuition, guided by wisdom and trust. creating essences and natural healing medicines, energywork, preparing nourishing foods or simply being in nature to calm the spirit and realign to a higher vibration have become my ways of healing. i am always learning. i am forever a student of nature.

foundational healing  

as we come to the end of a cycle, i am feeling this on a much deeper level, for in the last year i have been on a path of conscious healing. it seems as though the layers that have released energetically, have come to the surface to be released physically. i have been reminded just how important it is to nourish the mind, body and spirit. fortunately, i have the foundation, and tools that are needed for this journey of physical healing. this experience also gifted me with the opportunity to learn more about my self and the medicines. taking it one day at a time, incorporating one thing at a time, and being aware of the bodies natural response and cycle in the healing process. taking it slow, nurturing and gently caring for my self, allowing for everything to happen in its own time. in gratitude.

circle of light

everything i have learned up until this point in time has come full circle in helping to guide me back to a balanced state of health and well being – emotionally, physically and spiritually. thankful for mother nature and traditional healing. a home to take the time to heal, come back to center in. its all relative. namaste.

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with the change of season, comes a bit of introspection. 

energy knows no time, space, or distance

i’ve been feeling the waves of change, and am now experiencing the energy i was picking up on last year around this very time. i knew that something needed to change, what i was unprepared for was that something being me.

old + new 

over the last few years, i began to unravel habits formed during the past decade, and focus my energy on things that have always been a part of my life, yet at different times. introducing new things as well. old and new being woven together. and somehow it all seems to fit perfectly.

change from within

last year at this time, i was forced to change. literally. the messages i had been given were apparently not well received, therefore the Universe made sure to get my full attention. the experience came full force, and was the key in opening the door to my understanding of Self.

gratitude 

it is through this understanding, i am now able to see the divine timing of everything. the experiences that were needed in order to become who i am. fully step into my light, on the path of returning to Self. i am forever grateful for the lessons, and those who’ve helped me to get to here. where i came from and where it is that i am going. i am thankful for it all.

cyclical existence 

as with anything in nature, everything has a cycle. and for me this cycle is about connecting with self. listening to and following the heart. being in alignment with my path. being in harmony with nature. and having the awareness of self in the lessons and the learning process. the greatest lesson for me being, Self Love + Trust.

the path is ever evolving, and the heart is ever expanding.

it is in this last year that i have learned how to practice good self care, reconnect with nature, listen and truly feel – creating the foundation for the path as a healer and caretaker of Mother Earth. i am looking forward to sharing more in depth with you as we move further into alignment in our journey back to Self.

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“He who with sincerity seeks his real purpose in life is himself sought by that purpose.” Hazrat Inayat Khan

be thy self

– what is the rhythm in your Heart, what song wants to be expressed? –

it’s been so long since the beginning. many lessons have been learned and patterns unlearned. life has taught me much about my Self and the kind of world i want to live in and be a part of. experience has brought people into and certainly out of my life. the ebb and flow of the tide. and some are dearly missed. i believe once you have accepted another into your heart field, their energy is known to you. becomes a part of you, for we are all a facet of the whole. cosmic consciousness. we are energetic beings creating a human experience. breaking patterns and conditioning, learning life lessons – clearing karma. on a path of self discovery. with a song in each of our hearts, to be understood and shared with others. harmonic convergence. we are all part of the dance.

– a relationship begins to take form – 

i’ve spent much of my life fighting to be heard, to be understood, to be seen and loved. where i found solace was in Nature. where i could just be my self. accepted. acknowledged. seen on a vibrational level of oneness. a part of and not separate from. one in the same, just walking on two legs. although, sometimes it may feel like i am crawling. forgetting for a moment i am human. allowing the current to take away all things that weighed heavy on my mind and in my heart. this is where my connection with self and nature began in this life. nature became my teacher. my healer. my friend. my way of giving back was through spending time with her and clearing the debris left by others. communicating and taking care of her. i’ve spent most of my life in Nature – becoming one with my environment, living in harmony among nature beings and using different eyes to see. i was taught to use my mind and follow my heart, trust my intuition and see with the Heart. just be.

– there is a sense of having to know where one has come from, in order to know where one is going – 

the path that lead me here has had its challenges, but i realize now they were all for a reason. each level of experience allowed me to utilize my resources. inner knowledge and the wisdom of nature. the journey i am on is one back to Self. this very much so has been a year of deep emotional healing and releasing. letting go and becoming who i am. who we are and came here to be. expressions of Self – divine Love. truly knowing and understanding where i came from and everything in between. the lesson i am learning is to be who you are where ever you are. those who are going to love you will love you, and those who are going to judge you will judge you. light attracts light, but it also attracts dark. learn how to protect your Self and let your light guide the way. ❤

we are one heart. one vibration.

Love. 

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Know thyself’ was written over the portal of the antique world.

Over the portal of the new world, ‘Be thyself’ shall be written.

– Oscar Wilde