return to self : the journey home

its been a long while since i’ve been on my own. fifteen years to be exact. i didn’t realize that until her departure. what i have learned is that sometimes blessings come into our lives in forms unexpected. Ember showed and taught me pure Love. she was the embodiment of the divine feminine. a sister of the rose, part of my soul, and in this life a pug. she chose me as her guide, yet in truth she was mine. though the journey here on Earth together may have ended, another aspect seems to be revealing itself.

along the rivers edge, where our spiritual journey began, is where i am learning to find my self once again. although she is not here physically, i feel her in every moment. she is with me, and will always be. this i know and understand yet it is still a rather difficult adjustment. i have gone deep within and i am learning how to live without her here with me. it is not easy, for it is like living without the sun. truly.

she taught me many things. she taught me how to care for another; how to be a mother, a wife, a friend, and a daughter. we spoke our own language and have a bond that goes back many lifetimes. she is both my greatest teacher, and my life’s greatest loss. every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow. the path i am on is one that has taken me on quite the journey. however, i am thankful to be where i am now : with new eyes, an open heart, and Ember helping to guide my way Home to Self in spirit form.

in the next phase of this journey i am being called to move deeper into the healing process by way of working with Chiron in my natal astrology chart. the course i am taking ‘Chiron – Your Deepest Wound, Your Greatest Gift’ has really showed up at the most perfect time. i will be exploring the three Chiron archetypes, how they relate to me, and how to use them to turn my wound into my greatest gift. i am planning to share with you my experience, maybe you will find within something that resonates with your own journey of self. as my wise Rose Alchemy teacher says, “we are all guiding each other home.”

namaste.

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path of light

medicine path : coming into my own

spiritual plant path  

2013 . this was the year my spiritual journey with the plants first began taking shape through working with Shamana Flora. it is also the year i was called to only utilize alcohol medicinally.

a shift within

2014 . as my shamanic herbal apprenticeship began, i simultaneously experienced the death of a close friend and then relative. this shifted my awareness, and the plants began speaking to me, or was it that i had just began to hear them? actually, it was a death i experienced 9 years earlier that put me fully onto my spiritual path. my life forever changed.

eyes to see, ears to hear 

2015 . heart rhythm meditation came into my life, and my focus was caring for the plants on the land here. learning more about them and the wild ones. i was called to discontinue my use of commercially produced tobacco, and in that same year, mullein showed up all along the pathway leading to my front door –  it is a medicine for the lungs. there is an old folk medicine saying, “the medicine you need grows near you.” well, i believe that saying holds truth. my dear soul dog lost her vision, and i almost lost her too. thankfully, i had the plants on hand, and the guidance of a beloved soul sister to help see her through. Ember gave me eyes to see, and ears to hear. my relationship with the plants was evolving.

the wise woman way

2016 . i spent much of the year helping others, and neglected to do so for myself. i ignored the signs i was given, and eventually it caught up with me. (apparently, i am human after all.) there was a need for nourishment and strengthening. finding balance. i returned to my self care practices and incorporated new ones. i found the Wise Woman Way. through this healing journey, my relationship with the plants deepened, and i returned to nature. this was my lesson, to heal my self with the medicine of the earth.

journey home

2017 . a year of deep soul healing through working with Rose Alchemy to heal ancestral patterns and core wounds on a path to self mastery. all the while there was another aspect to this journey – searching for a new home. after the go around we had, it seems as though where we are is exactly where we need to be for the time being. the path of healing lead me home to self. heart is where the home is. i also began my studies with the School of Evolutionary Herbalism. i resonate so deeply with the teachings, and their bridging of knowledge in a language my heart understands.

seeing the pattern .  healing the heart . mother earth

Present . two months ago i lost my soul dog. i realize now that through each experience of loss, a part of my self experienced a sense of death as well. pieces of my soul had to experience death in order to be reborn on the plant path. the path of light. this is what my soul needed to experience in order for me to arrive here in this moment. to go deep within and heal my heart. to rise from the ashes and do my part. working with plant medicine and mother earth.

blessings be. 

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{Ember + Mullein}