Ode to My Heart

yarrow, blue jays, red clover.

mother earth.

 

sounds of the modern world

merging with the natural.

 

this land is my home.

where i came from, where i returned.

 

he showed me the way,

back to my heart.

back to the plants.

 

back to nature.

 

return. return. return.

 

calmness.

still.

ripples of time.

moving water.

 

emotions.

reflections.

divine feminine.

 

Earth Mother.

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fields without fences
permaculture apprenticeship
2019
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somewhere, Love still exists.

wherever I AM there you are.

my journey has taken me deep within. although, this is not particularly unusual for this time of year. for me, winter is a time for reflection. a time to go within, to rest and nourish those parts of Self that may need some extra support during these cold, dark months. this time is different. last year was different too. but this time is really different. i no longer have my rock. the guardian of my heart. my Love.

uncharted waters. 

you see, i am now traveling this world alone. alone on my path. but not really. i know he is here, i know he is in my heart. i know all of this. it still is. all the things we never did, all the things i never said. all the things we had planned for our future. and now he is not here. so all of that just disappears. or maybe it doesn’t. maybe all of the things we did, all of the things we said, all of the things we began to weave will be waiting there for us in the next life together. all of those things are energy, and we gave them a name. we created a life together, and now. what? i don’t have the answers. i just know that in order for me to get my Self back, i need to return to my Heart. in the space where he is waiting for me. a place maybe i have been in avoidance of. because i am feeling so much, every single wave of emotion. its easier for me to be out of body then it is to stay in. it is a daily practice to remain rooted. especially without him. deep breaths.

he is what i always knew existed, it just took him a while to find me.

oh, my heart. my best friend. my lover. my life partner. my world. my Love. my hearts Light. he showed me what Love is, what nature intended it to be. he was an old soul just as i. he is my souls mate. he was around me my whole life, and then he found me. not in a million worlds would i have thought this would be how our journey on Earth together ends. oh, my BeLoved.

i now fully understand what the absence of light is.

during this season of the return of light, it feels i too am in alignment with this celestial journey. the path in healing the heart has gone even deeper still. Love is ever unfolding, ever evolving. the journey of the Heart is never ending.

cycles. spirals. healing. 

my guidance is to go within, to flow with the cycles of the Earth. ground. reconnect. nourish. nurture. support. protect my Heart + find the place where his Light shines within me. somewhere, Love still exists.

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HeartLight

dark night of the heart.

process of elimination.
reevaluation.
time stands still.

stillness.
healing.
let the light shine from within.

mirrors. reflections.
gravitational push. pull.
weightless.

still point. darkness.
seed of life. light.
harmonic convergence.

acceptance of all that IS.
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Higher Heart

shedding, unbecoming.
layers. storylines. timelines.
false realities in truths disguise.

rose coloured glasses.
removed.

enter.
the self, center.
higher heart.

this is who you are,
who you have become.
who you have always been.

welcome,
Home.

dear One.

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SoulStar

from the depths of my soul.
i remember.

sense of familiarity. knowing. understanding.
speaking the same language, language of the heart.

Love — the foundation from which we evolved.

we are.
one in the same.
spirit. heart.
star.

traveling lifetimes together.
fear of facing truths shadow.
the opposite of fear is love.

deeper still into the unknown.
let go.

Trust.

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