Ode to My Heart

yarrow, blue jays, red clover.

mother earth.

 

sounds of the modern world

merging with the natural.

 

this land is my home.

where i came from, where i returned.

 

he showed me the way,

back to my heart.

back to the plants.

 

back to nature.

 

return. return. return.

 

calmness.

still.

ripples of time.

moving water.

 

emotions.

reflections.

divine feminine.

 

Earth Mother.

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fields without fences
permaculture apprenticeship
2019
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1111 : Activation

a call to walk in the woods, with intention. holding space. calling in the directions, guides, guardians. elementals + ancestors. sacred circle. making an offering. this is how yesterday’s ceremony began. sol shining from above and within. a deeper sense of purpose, understanding. the feminine coming together with the masculine. sacred union. time immemorial. a beautiful moment here on earth. remembrance. the reason why we are here. together.
healing. balance. love. protection. 
we are walking the path back to our selves, our hearts, mother earth. this shift, this alignment is why we are here. why we chose to be here. it is our higher purpose, the souls evolution. the journey of the heart + earth. mother nature is calling for us to return. return. return. to the ways of our ancestors, traditions. in a new way, with our hearts and eyes open. we have healed and cleared all timelines, all spaces, all dimensions. a new pathway rises before us. the way of the sacred feminine, in perfect harmony with the masculine. inner alchemy, divine union. this is the path of self mastery.
welcome hOme.
Processed with MOLDIV
Way of the Sacred Feminine

Sacred Feminine

After twelve years of silence, and in the last year of consciously healing, I am ready to share in my experience. Not because I am seeking attention, but because I would like for everyone to understand that we all have a story, and this is one that so many can relate to no matter gender, age, or beliefs – sexual trauma. My experience, my words, my actions, my thoughts, have been suppressed for far too long. This story line has run its course throughout history, in my lineage, and in the collective for far too long. I am sharing this with you today in hope that this may inspire change, or at least others in some way on their journey of healing. If I am able to see the light, so are you. I believe in that. I believe in you. It is now time to believe in each other.

I don’t know where to begin because there has been so much that has stemmed from this one experience that essentially changed my entire world, in one night. So, I will start from the beginning. Twelve years ago, this month, I was drugged and sexually assaulted. When something like that happens, you can’t really see anything outside of the experience. I felt so alone in this. I felt that no one would have believed me because, well, they were well known in the community, and to everyone on the outside they were, you know, “not that type.” There is much more to be said, but I feel that may be for another time. So, for now I would like to stay focused on the present. How I made it through this experience. How I am standing here today with every single person, living or in spirit, that has been violated in this way. Using my voice to finally speak for those without one. I too know what that is like for it is only until recently that I have rediscovered my own.

After this experience, I became like a hermit, and spent most of my time at the river meditating and practicing yoga with my dog, Ember. She was the only one I trusted, and it was because of her love, and nature that helped me through. I began to write, and even shared my writings through spoken word, but I found it was not quite the right place to do so. I retreated back into my own space, and continued on, never truly healing. I had pushed this deep down inside of me, and tried to move on, but the truth is, you never really do. So for many years, the truth remained hidden, this part of my self, this darkness that no one knows unless you have lived through it; and it remains a part of you until you are ready to heal, release, and move forward. Eleven years later, I began consciously working on this aspect of healing through the wisdom and guidance of those that have come into my life as healers, and have become my teachers. This includes the plant folk too. I am very grateful to have been gifted this support system of dear friends, teachers, traditional healers, Ember & Mother Earth. Collectively, they have helped me to recover what was taken from me all those years ago. They have helped me to get my power back. My voice back. My self back. They have helped me to heal and become who I am, who I always was. I just needed to re-remember. Just after this deep dive into my deepest wound – healing, and releasing it, I felt marching with others at the state capitol was a final piece in this healing process, but in fact, actually maybe writing this is.

This is one of the deepest wounds of humanity, and it is time to heal, protect and prevent this from continuing. The cycle needs to be broken. Help to rewrite the script that has been running for so long, help to give freedom a chance before these chains that bind us for the rest of our days here on Earth are allowed to be put on. It gives me hope, it gives me courage, and it gives me strength that others are on similar path in doing the same. We are coming forward, and saying enough is enough. It ends with us. This can only be truly healed by Love. Self Love. This is the message I came here to share with you all.

Blessings Be.

~

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we have come to heal the hearts of many. heal our own hearts + wounds. reconnect to our divine birthright + Mother Earth. this is the beginning of the blossoming of our hearts and reconnection to la Rosa. the divine feminine has returned.

path of light

medicine path : coming into my own

spiritual plant path  

2013 . this was the year my spiritual journey with the plants first began taking shape through working with Shamana Flora. it is also the year i was called to only utilize alcohol medicinally.

a shift within

2014 . as my shamanic herbal apprenticeship began, i simultaneously experienced the death of a close friend and then relative. this shifted my awareness, and the plants began speaking to me, or was it that i had just began to hear them? actually, it was a death i experienced 9 years earlier that put me fully onto my spiritual path. my life forever changed.

eyes to see, ears to hear 

2015 . heart rhythm meditation came into my life, and my focus was caring for the plants on the land here. learning more about them and the wild ones. i was called to discontinue my use of commercially produced tobacco, and in that same year, mullein showed up all along the pathway leading to my front door –  it is a medicine for the lungs. there is an old folk medicine saying, “the medicine you need grows near you.” well, i believe that saying holds truth. my dear soul dog lost her vision, and i almost lost her too. thankfully, i had the plants on hand, and the guidance of a beloved soul sister to help see her through. Ember gave me eyes to see, and ears to hear. my relationship with the plants was evolving.

the wise woman way

2016 . i spent much of the year helping others, and neglected to do so for myself. i ignored the signs i was given, and eventually it caught up with me. (apparently, i am human after all.) there was a need for nourishment and strengthening. finding balance. i returned to my self care practices and incorporated new ones. i found the Wise Woman Way. through this healing journey, my relationship with the plants deepened, and i returned to nature. this was my lesson, to heal my self with the medicine of the earth.

journey home

2017 . a year of deep soul healing through working with Rose Alchemy to heal ancestral patterns and core wounds on a path to self mastery. all the while there was another aspect to this journey – searching for a new home. after the go around we had, it seems as though where we are is exactly where we need to be for the time being. the path of healing lead me home to self. heart is where the home is. i also began my studies with the School of Evolutionary Herbalism. i resonate so deeply with the teachings, and their bridging of knowledge in a language my heart understands.

seeing the pattern .  healing the heart . mother earth

Present . two months ago i lost my soul dog. i realize now that through each experience of loss, a part of my self experienced a sense of death as well. pieces of my soul had to experience death in order to be reborn on the plant path. the path of light. this is what my soul needed to experience in order for me to arrive here in this moment. to go deep within and heal my heart. to rise from the ashes and do my part. working with plant medicine and mother earth.

blessings be. 

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{Ember + Mullein}

with the change of season, comes a bit of introspection. 

energy knows no time, space, or distance

i’ve been feeling the waves of change, and am now experiencing the energy i was picking up on last year around this very time. i knew that something needed to change, what i was unprepared for was that something being me.

old + new 

over the last few years, i began to unravel habits formed during the past decade, and focus my energy on things that have always been a part of my life, yet at different times. introducing new things as well. old and new being woven together. and somehow it all seems to fit perfectly.

change from within

last year at this time, i was forced to change. literally. the messages i had been given were apparently not well received, therefore the Universe made sure to get my full attention. the experience came full force, and was the key in opening the door to my understanding of Self.

gratitude 

it is through this understanding, i am now able to see the divine timing of everything. the experiences that were needed in order to become who i am. fully step into my light, on the path of returning to Self. i am forever grateful for the lessons, and those who’ve helped me to get to here. where i came from and where it is that i am going. i am thankful for it all.

cyclical existence 

as with anything in nature, everything has a cycle. and for me this cycle is about connecting with self. listening to and following the heart. being in alignment with my path. being in harmony with nature. and having the awareness of self in the lessons and the learning process. the greatest lesson for me being, Self Love + Trust.

the path is ever evolving, and the heart is ever expanding.

it is in this last year that i have learned how to practice good self care, reconnect with nature, listen and truly feel – creating the foundation for the path as a healer and caretaker of Mother Earth. i am looking forward to sharing more in depth with you as we move further into alignment in our journey back to Self.

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“He who with sincerity seeks his real purpose in life is himself sought by that purpose.” Hazrat Inayat Khan